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No, John Mayer Will Not Be Pulling Santa's Sleigh This Year. That's Just His Coat.

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Ray Tamarra/Getty

Oh, deer.

John Mayer, whether in a misguided style moment or a fit of pique after hearing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” on the radio for the six millionth time, made an appearance in N.Y.C. wearing a coat that looks an awful lot like it once belonged to that once-bullied Santa employee.

It’s furry. It’s fuzzy. It has — oh boy, is that a tail? It’s got a hood that he wears when his ears get chilly and festive red trim. And it’s just really hard to understand.

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Look, John, we know you love “Who You Love.” (Lord knows that song has made it abundantly clear.) But even if that motto applies to your feelings about this coat, we have some practical concerns; namely, that it may scare small children. Even our most die-hard Mayer fan in the office called this one “indefensible,” so why don’t you return it to the reindeer from whence it came. Otherwise he’s going to be very chilly on his route this Dec. 24.

So…any thoughts on this one? We’re still essentially speechless.

–Alex Apatoff